Friday, December 21, 2007

A Public Service Announcement

At this time of year, many people will either purchase toys or receive them as gifts. We at the Action Figure Liberation And Total Toy Involvement Realization Entity (A.F.L.A.T.T.I.R.E.) would like to remind you that these precious items are meant to be opened and enjoyed, not sealed in plastic cases and hoarded in your parents' basement.

All too often, fun, exciting toys get locked away by "collectors" in hermetically sealed plastic tombs, forever removed from their intended purpose: childish enjoyment and reckless abandon. Forever these poor plastic prisoners languish in boxes and bins, covered in dust and Dorito crumbs, longing for adventure on the living room floor or backyard sandpile.

"But it will be worth sumthin' sumday!" the collector cries! We say "So will all that carbon you're emitting, when it eventually turns to diamond through a lengthy application of heat and pressure! But right now it's as worthless as the lead in a pencil! And what are pencils for? Writing! And what is writing? A series of movements with an object in the human hand! So, take those toys out of their contemptible cardboard crypts, put them in your hand, and play! Better yet, find a kid, put the toy in their hands, and let the magic begin!

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

This message was brought to you by A.F.L.A.T.T.I.R.E--
Action Figure Liberation And Total Toy Involvement Realization Entity

1 comment:

Anthony Williams said...

Can't open... packaging... too... cool! Must keep sealed. Must... keep... sealed!